Running scared

My anxiety is at a all time high the voices are telling me that I deserve to be hated by everyone I deserve to have nothing and I deserve to be the fool because I am and always will be.

People have a life to live a family who is proud of them! But I have non of this I have just me, even my new best friend did what I expected them to!! No one understands how difficult it is to tell them face to face what I’m feeling inside, why I’m so scared why when I trust someone I try to stick to them like glue.

It’s because I’m scared because I’ve been alone nearly all my life, I deserve nothing from no one I deserve my fate? But I’m scared and I can’t tell anyone because I don’t know how to, I’m scared of the quietness it’s coming back!! It happened before like this and some months later dad found me attempting to hang myself.

And I would have achieved it, if he hadn’t have turned up like he did? Back then like now I had nothing there was no one who wanted me around it was as quiet then as now..

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