Having a bad day!

Today isn’t great up to now i’ve had two arguments with dad, one about going to a meeting and leaving him alone he says that i’m doing all i can to get out of the house and that i’d be in so much trouble if when i returned he was on the floor or unwell because i’d not been there to keep a eye on him.

He don’t seem to understand that sometimes i just need to get out and have some downtime, people have told me to message them and talk to them if things are taught but whenever i do no one ever replies so it feels like i’m completely alone like always.

The second shouting match was because the district nurses and the GP have asked a physio and Occupational theropist to visit as he was concerned that my dad may require assistance and myself.

Unfortunately they turned up while I was out even though they had rang to see if I would be there, it seems dad told them that we didn’t need anything and he gave them the third degree about keeping their nose out of other people’s business.

I’ve since rang them and they have told me that they have closed the referral as the patient did not require help, now I’m unable to get a assessment because they have decided that no further action is required. I give up?

The meeting I attended I couldn’t hear to well because of background noise from other people who where in the area, the young lady I trust was there but won’t talk to me now so I just felt like I shouldn’t be there.

Sadly I can’t tell anyone face to face how I’m feeling really at this minute and like before I’m starting to slowly disappear into my shell and hide away, dad has won again he always said I’m not wanted and it would be best if I lost myself!

At this minute I’m sitting in my car on Marsden Lane. I told dad I was going out to a meeting and wouldn’t be back until later, it’s -2c outside and I really don’t want to go home.

The young lady I trust isn’t talking to me and I can’t blame her I’ve made a mess of everything, I text her to tell her that I’ve left a blog but I know she never reads them and really don’t care one bit anymore which I deserve.

This time the plans I had in 2006 which dad stopped me from completing. i will complete And no one really cares anyway.

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