Feeling very distant!

It feels like i’m not part of things at this minute and i’m struggling to feel a part of life and i feel like no one really wants to know me and that I’m more trouble than I’m worth.

All dad could do today is constantly go on about if he’s stressing me out them maybe it’s time I found somewhere else to live because he isn’t asking for much just for me to do what is expected of me.

Apparently my brother works hard everyday and therefore cannot possibly be expected to take on else and because of that as I’m the oldest I need to step up and be counted, as mum’s no longer here now to do the things you should have been doing for years.

Because my back and arms have been itching and are sore I decided to have a shower and asked dad if he would help me which was a waste of time as he said how did I expect him to do that when I couldn’t even bother to stay in every night, so I took that as a no and ended up spending just over 90 minute in the shower with half the time spent drying myself and trying to put antiseptic cream on my back and arms.

Which I must add is extremely difficult when you can’t use a mirror very well, and as he says the carer isn’t paid to stand around and support me she is paid to support him and only him.

I get his point so I did my best but my back is still really sore and itching because of my eczema, I’ll just leave it from now on! And find another way to stop the itching. I’ve stopped eating loads of things but people are now moaning about it.

There is 1 ready meal in the fridge compared to the 4 that were brought in on Monday for me and him but everytime I’ve gone to get mine he is already eating it so therefore the meals that are left I’m unable to have because I’m allergic to there contents. Tonight I bought myself a bag of tangy cheese deretos to eat. I now have 29p in my pocket to last me until thursday.

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