Nowhere land

Today I wake up with a blank mind I have nothing to show for my life I’ve failed on all my dreams I’ve achieved nothing to make anyone proud. My life is a mess I’m 43 and I really don’t care if I even get to 44 I’ve started to drop my medication doses to see if that changes anything. It’s either going to help or make it so 44 is only a number!

I used to wake up smiling and looking forward to the day now I just wake and wish I hadn’t, I’m looking for a way out or a reason to focus my life.

I don’t want to eat I feel sick when I do I just want to sit with someone I trust and find a solution and stop feeling so alone, I don’t have the get up and go no more I’ve learnt to put up a cover, if family ask I’m ok it seems only a few can see under the cover but I really only trust one.

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