I got a letter today from Leicestershire Police to thank me for providing First Aid skills at the scene of a Road Traffic Accident, it seems my skills saved the victim from life changing injuries.
But i have no one to show the letter to, dad said that I should never have got involved and should have been home helping him instead of a total stranger, Mum would have been so proud of me she would have told everyone. I posted it on facebook but think i’m going to remove it and put the letter through the shredder, I just wish i’d took mums lead and given up then as i don’t have anything now to show.
I received a official warning while at volunteering yesterday it seems my approch to advising someone their was doing wrong wasn’t welcome and i should have kept my mouth shut and left it, but it related to patient safety and i wasn’t about to let it happen. I received a second warning yesterday afternoon for something else, my first ever in the 6 years i’ve been a hospital volunteer.
I miss my mum so so much i won’t be helping others again and now social services have pulled the carer support from us i don’t think i will be volunteering much longer anyway, so everyone gets what they want and my promises to mum i won’t be keeping yet another let down for everyone.
The rare few are chatting to me on social media now and thinking what ever they wish, to be honest i really don’t care anymore i hear Danny has jumped in on inviting Jenny around for the weekend again probably wants some “Human Contact!” “A free unprotected Fuck for short” but hey not my problem now everyone has their way! they said i was no good for her that she would need her friends, their where right? and i lost my new friends because of it and someone that meant the world to me!!.
Even the person i asked out before Jenny don’t want to know me she don’t reply to my texts or talk to me anymore, at least i could talk to her but she don’t want to know me just like everyone else.
My headache is back and i’ve not eaten for the past 3 days i’m not hungry.