4:46 a.m.

So it’s early morning again I can’t sleep the wind is howling outside my brain keeps telling me I’ve upset someone why can’t I say what I want on this blog and why can’t people just take note and just let it go through one ear and out the other.

Yeah there’s a young lady like yeah she is beautiful yeah he is a friend well I hope so anyway but she’s not talking to me she’s not answering my texts she’s just not speaking to me either I said something wrong or she’s really busy think it’s the latter but I don’t know but now it’s ringing through my head and I can’t sleep it’s really really getting to me.

Glad Jenny’s got what she wants do you want to be a hospital volunteer she wanted to do the meeting great job. I’ve been doing for years and she’s got that chance now hopefully so use it wisely hopefully she will learn something and gained some new friendships, unfortunately it’s starting to feel that my time there is finished I don’t get that nice feeling anymore it’s just a chore just something to do to get me out of the house but what else can I do.

I’ll still continue my time working on Thursdays in pulmonary rehab because I’m dedicated to that I need that unit myself but I think my time has come to move on and find something new I’ll miss the place the people the laughs and the friendships but everyone moves on I wish I didn’t feel so lonely.

I wish I didn’t feel like I was the only person alive the winds howling outside neighbours fence on the left hand side even though it’s rickety and more less dead is still standing yet the brand new fence on the right hand side is laying flat on the floor workmanship isn’t as good as it used to be it seems

Just wish my friend was back talking to me texting me I didn’t mean to offend her but can’t help saying what I feel.

She is gorgeous she is beautiful she’s worth a lot she’s a princess princess I’d like to treat I’d like to look after cuddle kiss whatever it wasn’t my intention to upset her it wasn’t my intention to make it so she doesn’t talk to me or is afraid to talk to me, I hope she understands that and I hope she reads but I bet she won’t I bet she will avoid me like everyone else is doing oh well like always back where I started.

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