I really didn’t want to wake up today i seriously hoped last time i would go sleep and that would be the end of it, I’m a support worker for jenny and not her boyfriend and she can’t see it but i can! we don’t do anything like we used to all she tries to do is make sure i’m ok she wants things explaining or reading she don’t look at me as anything other than a friend now days and she always thinks there is something i’m not telling her.
I just want someone to love me again, dads just had a go at me about the little radio i bought for the wet room from my Christmas gift voucher that jenny bought me that it sounds crap and that maybe i sound buy something expensive instead of buying shit.
Its been OK for the past week or so now all of a sudden everything i do is rubbish or a waste of time, why should i bother to help him i used all my cash this Christmas to get him presents and stuff and he just laughed in my face like everyone does, i really don’t need this i don’t need the Dr telling me that i need to get rid of the stress in my life then i won’t need the medication as much maybe they need to be in my shoes and not sitting there telling me what to do.
This afternoon i go to meet with some friends and have a sort of chat and when i get home i get the third degree about “where you been I bet you been telling people all our business, you need to start doing stuff here before you swann off chatting to people about our business” All i want is some time out doing something different i’ve lost my cheer and smile and my energy to i just miss the old me, but it went when mum died and that is it.