Today is hard work!

Today has been a tiring day i didn’t get up until 9 am and then felt so unwell even after i’d had my medication really bad stomach pains and no energy but dad wanted his legs washing in detal disinfectant so i had to life a boil of hot water and detal from the kitchen to the lounge so he could put his feet in the boil to help heal the toe of his right foot which has gone black after a podiatrist tried to fix a ingrowing toe nail but didn’t manage to to sort it just managed to get it infected more, so the GP suggested washing his foot in detal every day until he can get a appointment with them again.

I tried hard to not spill anything but did my shaking didn’t help and my stomach ache, i had to go loo badly after i’d done his feet. But only just made it then spent nearly 90 minutes in there. Its not fun trying to explain why the medication to stop stomach ulcers has a tendency to make you go loo like you have have had a roby murry the night before, and if you don’t have enough bog roll you need to be a dam good runner.

Once the need has gone the pain has gone and i’m left really tired and with a dul ache, jenny thinks it’s my period starting lol i told her she’s probably right she couldn’t stop laughing. but i’ve had this constantly every few months for the past 20 or so years. This is the parts that no one see’s and you always seem me as the bright person that likes to cheer others up but no one sees this bit.

There is not medical reason for it other that agitated stomach ulcers and the only way to stop the stomach ulcers is to stop the prednisolone steroid tablets which i’ve been taking for the past 43 years.

So i finally went out at 12 pm to go get some shopping from Sainsburys. dad was moaning at me that i’m always off out somewhere and he is stuck in but i don’t know how to help him i can’t manage getting him out alone anymore i can’t be watching him and locking the house up and making sure he’s safe getting into the car. When Sarah is here its easier as i know someone is watching him so i can take my time and sort myself out. but at weekends we don’t have any carer support and that’s when i could do with it because he always wants to go out then.

The way it works now is that dad can’t decided when Sarah works and don’t work as long as she does the allocated hours per week, he gets her to do cleaning and that’s about it but her job description includes shopping, and general home care as well as help me to get dad out to attend appointments or visit places or people. But i end up doing the shopping and cleaning now days more than Sarah, and when i’m not feeling well like today its a lot harder to do the work asked of me..

I cleaned the wet room and toilet as i was asked to as well today but i was so tired tonight that i struggled to go out and see jenny but i still did..only for use to sit in the car in a local car park and watch the stars and chat, not the best thing to do when its cold outside.

Lets see how long i sleep for tonight.


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