Not feeling good today didn’t sleep well couldn’t stop thinking about how to explain how i feel without using this computer blog. Its difficult when you can’t find the words to talk to someone face to face but can type it on here.
I woken up at 1 am and couldn’t sleep from then on its not fun when no one is there to chat to?
I feel really sick I’m not hungry and don’t really want to bother with things i just wish i didn’t feel like this. I met jenny she is worried about me but i can’t explain to her how i feel and why. I kept my promise yesterday morning and took more photos around town.
But its tired me out and i ended up sitting at home listening to dad moaning that I’m out all the time trying to get away from my responsibilities of looking after him.
Just because i wanted to do something for someone else and not him i can’t seem to win at this minute.
He went crazy at 7 pm when i said i was going to see jenny for a few hours why can’t just walk away from all this just disappear into thin air. Its getting to much i visited someone yesterday before going home to fix their emails and the lady suggested i maybe shouldn’t allow myself to be so down. and get on with life i wish it was that easy..
I just wish sometimes i wasn’t here then all my problems would be gone, people are moaning that i’m not eating or not eating enough why is it that everyone has to be interested in what i had for lunch or dinner or if i’m having the right vitamins, for the last 40 years i’ve never eating things like others i bit and bob as they call it i and sometimes have proper food, i’d love to have a roast dinner like mum used to make use but that has gone now. I miss her!!