Can’t sleep?

I’m just so tired i have a headache the size of a freight train and did what the dr said to take something for it but its still not gone. Saw jenny tonight again even though its rather cold but she was so happy, she wanted to show me her new coat and boots and top what her carer had got her while they were out today.

She did look rather stuning to be honest but so does her besy friend to when shes around. I bought jenny a couple of teddies but her carer told her to bring anymore into the house as shes now a woman not a baby. I would have thought that if jenny liked to collect bears it was upto her but maybe not!

Jenny made me smile tonight but its starting to feel like I’m her friend and not her boyfriend. I love buying gifts for people because that way i gain friends.

I have £7 in my wallet to last me until next week i used my last cash to buy presents for people hoping I’ll keep them as friends this year. Its very unlikely though i already had one call me a cheapscate for spending £40 of my savings on a new sports bag for them.

I have worked out over the years that £40 to £50 is about enough to keep someone for another year ish and doing loads of freebies over the year for them to. Last year i made £25 over 6 months repairing my friends computers even though I’d spend twice that on presents for them. Good job i only have 2 friends now the others have pegged it.

I miss having someone close who i can talk to now mum has gone jenny is ok but don’t understand about the medication i take and its side efforts or how it feels to be a in patient and how the stresses of having a medical condition effect my life.

Sometimes i wish i could disappear off the face of the earth for a few months with the people i trust.

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